


You're Beautiful. You're Drunk.

by blvkkcat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-10-11 05:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17441147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blvkkcat/pseuds/blvkkcat
Summary: Peter Parker and Felicia Hardy had dated. Key word: had. After going to a party and letting loose, Peter got drunk and texted his ex. And we all know what happens when you drunk text your ex.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> howdy, this is my first story so i know it's kinda shit but i'm trying

**"felixis, i misd yoh"**

**"in sirry if i brikw ur hesrt"**

**"i libe yoh felicus"**

**"pledfe comr bscj to mr"**

It was two in the morning. Peter had left a party, practically black out drunk. He didn't know what he was doing, sending four texts to his ex-girlfriend, Felicia Hardy. He didn't expect her to answer, and he knew he would regret it the next day. Something took over and Peter just decided to text her.

**"peter, go to sleep."**

Felicia woke up to the buzzing of her phone going off. She wondered what notification she was getting this late in the night. Felicia looked at her phone and saw she had four messages from her ex, Peter Parker. She could tell he was drunk by the way he typed, she sighed. She didn't know if she should reply. If she should just leave it and pretend she had been asleep the whole time. She took a deep breath and replied, turning her phone off again and tried going back to sleep.

**"csn i cimr obet?"**

**"fwlicis i wsnma see u"**

Peter stared at his phone, _if she replied to the last texts, she must reply to these ones._ The typing bubble popped up, disappeared. reappeared and then disappeared. "C'mon Felicia..." Peter said to himself, in his drunk state, he was hoping she would answer. Then the bubble showed up again.

**"fine."**

Felicia took some time to think of how to answer. _Peter, i broke things off. Why are you trying to- no that's stupid. Peter, you're drunk. You're not walking all the way over to my place. Go back to sleep. He won't listen to me._ She rolled her eyes and sent fine. Felicia knew it was a bad idea, she just couldn't help it. Some part of her still had some feelings, a usual when it comes to relationships.

Peter looked at the answer, got up off his bed and snuck out the window. Going down the fire escape and heading to Felicia's. He knew this was a bad idea, it'll end in a drunken mistake and he'll hate himself for it. He walked to the small part of Queens called Flushing. Getting to Felicia's home and climbing up to her bedroom window.

Felicia waited for him to arrive. He's going to regret this in the morning, she thought. She sat up in her bed and looked at the window. She knew he was drunk, but he was smart enough to know not to knock on the front door. Felicia heard a knock at her window, seeing Peter through it. She got out of her bed, walked over and opened the window. "What do you want, Peter?" she asked, closing the window after he walked in.

"I miss you, Felicia..." Peter said, he looked down at the ground. He smelled of alcohol, he knew it and he knew she knew. Felicia's not dumb, she knows I'm drunk out of my mind, Peter thought as he looked at the ground. He heard Felicia sigh, looking up at her. "You're drunk, Peter. You need sleep." she said, he knew she was right. He did need sleep, but he didn't want to. He wanted to talk. "Can I lay down with you?" he asked, _pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes._

Felicia looked at Peter, he reeked of alcohol. She ran through every possible answer. _I could say no, and have him go home. But I don't want him walking back this late. I could say yes, he could try to make a move and I could make him sleep alone. I could say yes, and he might not do anything. He may just pass out, beside me. God, I'm gonna hate myself._ "Fine." she let out, moving over so he had a spot to lay down.

Peter mentally celebrated, taking his shoes off and laying down beside her. He faced Felicia, "Do you miss me?" he asked, _she's gonna tell me to sleep. I know her._

"Go to sleep, Peter." Felicia said, she knew him. He'd keep asking her if she didn't give an actual reply. "...Maybe a little..." she mumbled. _Please say he didn't hear that._

 _OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD SHE- SHE JUST SAID SHE MISSED ME. OKAY STAY CALM PARKER, STAY FUCKING CALM._ "Felicia, what did I do wrong? Why did you break up with me?" he asked, he knew the answer already. _She's gonna say she lost feelings, then tell me to sleep._

"I lost feelings, I guess." she replied, she was lying. Felicia's always had feelings for him. Before, during and after, she was still in love with Peter Parker. "Now, go to sleep." She was about to turn away from him, until he placed his hand on her visible cheek. _Peter don't, you're gonna regret this in the morning._

Peter placed his hand on Felicia's cheek. He honestly didn't know what he was doing, he was letting his drunk mind take over. He gazed into her eyes, they were a beautiful blue. He remembered whenever he would compliment them, she would disagree with him. Not liking how her blue eyes looked. "You're beautiful..." he said, his voice soft and in a whisper.

Felicia tried not to blush, she knew he could feel her cheek get hot. Peter always had a way to make her blush, ever since the beginning. "You're drunk..." she replied, looking into his brown eyes. She loved them, even if he thought they were dull. Felicia could've stared into them forever, she knew she couldn't though.

Peter stared at her, examining every feature she had. Her cheekbones, perfectly sculpted. She always disagreed with him when he said she had perfect bone structure. Her jaw was soft and slightly rounded. Her nose, small and button like. He remembered how he'd always boop it, she would always scrunch up her nose when he did. He thought it was cute. He then stared at her lips, they were an average size, sort of plump in their own way. He bit his lip, knowing he'd regret every last thing he did. Peter slowly leaned in, pressing his lips against hers lightly. _She's gonna reject you, just stop kissing her, Parker._

Felicia hesitated, she didn't know whether to kiss back or not. Knowing how much she wanted to, she slowly kissed him back. The taste of what he drank still on his lips. _Well, now you're doomed Hardy. Good luck getting out of this._ She placed her hand against his chest, lightly. She knew this was a bad idea. He knew this was a bad idea. They both went with it anyway.

Peter moved his hand from Felicia's cheek to her waist, pulling her closer to him. _Red light, Parker. Bad idea, stop. You're gonna regret this._ His sober mind was breaking through, part of it wanted this. The other part was trying to stop himself. Peter got more into the kiss, not adding anything, just pressing a bit harder. Being a bit more passionate.

Felicia found herself moving her left hand from his chest to tangling her fingers in his hair. _Bad move, Hardy. Gotta stop this, you aren't supposed to be doing this._ Felicia knew what she was doing, it wasn't right. But it felt good being wrong about this. It felt good being in his arms, having her fingers playing with his hair, their lips moving together and fitting perfectly. Felicia missed this, but she couldn't keep it going. however, she couldn't stop herself.

Peter deepened the kiss, his hand trailing up Felicia's back. _Don't, Parker. Stop it, you're drunk. As she said, stop you're gonna regre- SHUT UP!_ He argued with the sober side, winning control. He unclipped her bra, bringing his hand back to her waist. This feeling was euphoric, and he missed it. He couldn't help himself, he loved her.

Felicia felt him unclip her bra, part of her wanting to pull away and stop him. _Hardy, stop. This is bad, this is wrong. You shouldn't be doing thi- GO AWAY!_ She fought with her conscious mind. She knew how this was going to end, and she, for the first time in this moment, was fine with it. She missed his lips, his body, him. Felicia put more into the kiss, moving her hand from his hair to the back of his neck. She pulled him in closer, slipping her tongue into his mouth.

Peter followed suit. Slipping his tongue in, battling with hers. He brought his hand back up to her back, underneath her shirt. He went down to the hem of her shirt and started pulling it up, and over her head. Throwing it behind him, and then taking her bra off that was hanging off her shoulders.

Felicia brought her arms up to allow Peter to take her shirt off. She slide her hands down to the hem of his shirt and brought it up, pulling it over his head. Throwing it over with her shirt, she pressed her lips to his chest. Being light and gentle, kissing up to his neck. She nipped and sucked on his skin slightly, making sure it would leave a mark after.

Peter moved his hands to her breasts, holding them in his hands. Squeezing gently, his breathing getting hitched and shaky. This felt wrong, but it was right. She was right. Everything about this for him was right. Peter lifted Felicia's head up and kissed her again. Putting his leg over-top, getting on top of Felicia. He kissed down, trailing down from her lips to the waistline of her pajama shorts.

Felicia felt her body tingle, and the goosebumps appearing when he kissed down her body. For her trying to stop him before, she didn't second guess a thing. This was right. He was right. Everything about this for her was right. She put her hand in his hair, gripping onto it.

Peter kissed back up, grabbing her waistband and slipping the shorts off. He threw them aside and hovered above her. He unbuckled his belt and took his jeans off. He looked at Felicia, "can I?" he asked, waiting for her word. Felicia looked at him, laying where she was. _This is wrong this is wrong- I SAID GO AWAY!_ she nodded to him, allowing him to continue.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i changed how this looked so it had the italics and that so yee

Peter woke up the next morning, alone in Felicia's bed. He had a pounding headache, his eyes hurt and her felt like vomiting. He looked around, found a glass of water and some Tylenol beside him on the bedside table. A bin below him, ready for him to throw up in if he needed.  _Oh god, what did I do?_ His sober side was back, questioning what he did the night before. He, of course, knew what he did. He looked at his phone and went to his messages, reading the ones he sent to Felicia. "Goddamn it..." he groaned, getting up and taking the pill. Downing the water to help the pill go down.

 

Felicia got up before Peter. She snuck out of bed, making sure she didn't wake Peter. She put her clothes back on, not even questioning why they were off.  _This is bad, this is very bad._ Felicia went out to the kitchen, poured some water in a glass and grabbed the Tylenol from the medicine cabinet. She went back to her room and placed them down on the bedside table. Glancing over at Peter, who was sound asleep. He looked so perfect and peaceful, just sleeping there.  _Stop Hardy, this is bad. This is very bad._ She took the garbage bin from beside her desk and placed it where he could easily get to it without vomiting everywhere first. Felicia walked back out of her room and sat down on the couch. Waiting for Peter to wake up.

 

Peter got out of bed, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand. He saw Felicia sitting on the couch, looking at her phone. He hopped over the back of the couch, sat beside her and put his arm around her shoulder. "Morning, beautiful..." he said.  _Bad move, Parker. This is bad. This is very bad._ He looked at her, admiring everything he was admiring last night. He hoped she didn't move away, that she stayed where she was. Maybe even cuddle him a bit. Peter missed this feeling, he missed being hers. He didn't want this to be the end of things.

 

Felicia, trying not to make it seem like things were good, even if she really wanted them to be. She turned her body so his arm wasn't wrapped around her shoulder, even though she wanted it there. She missed the feeling of his arms around her, missed being his. "Peter..." she said, "last night...last night was a mistake...it shouldn't have happened..." It pained her to say that, cause she knew she was lying. She knew that was what she wanted, that it wasn't a mistake.

 

Peter looked down from Felicia. "...But it happened..." he looked back up to her, "...and I know it shouldn't have happened. I was drunk and I was being stupid..." He agreed with himself on that last part. He was being stupid. But he didn't want to say that, as stupid as he was, he knew that was what he wanted. He knew she did too. He knows her, Peter knows Felicia's lying.

 

Felicia stared at him. She could see right through him, he didn't mean that. Sure, he may have been saying it to agree with her and speed up the conversation. But she knew he didn't mean that. "Just, be careful when you're drunk. Okay, Peter?" she asked, Felicia never thought that she would've been the one telling him that. She thought she would be the one to get drunk, text him drunk and have this happen because of her. She didn't think he would do this, but then again, it was him that got drunk and texted her.

 

Peter nodded, he never imagined being the one to do this. He never really was the one to go all out, but here he is. Something compelled him into this, maybe it was his emotions taking over. Or maybe he had enough of being categorized as "innocent". Maybe he wanted to be different for once. "Yeah...I'll be more careful next time, Felicia..." he said, he loved saying her name. Even though when they were together, he would call her things like: babe, darling and sweetie. He loved her name, he knew she loved the way he would say her name. Just like he loves hearing the way she says his.

 

Felicia was tempted to smile, him saying her name brought back memories. The more she thought of this, the more she dug herself into a hole. "This...it was just a drunk mistake..." she said,  _Hardy. Why don't you break your heart while you're at it?_ "it's not happening again..."  _There you go. It's broken now, how you feel? Hurt? Sad? You just ruined yourself with those four words. How does that feel?_ She regretted saying those words, those two sentences really. All she wanted was him, and she had to blow it off. Had to hurt herself so she wouldn't go back. But she was already in that hole, there was no getting out of it. She was there, and she liked it there. She wanted to be there.

 

Peter, for knowing her, didn't think she would say that. He knew it was a drunk mistake, but knew it was what he wanted. If it was a mistake, he wanted to make them all the time. "Y-yeah...I'm sorry, Felicia..." he apologized.  _Oh, Parker. She hurt you, again. You knew this would happen. You knew this was how it was going to end. It will always end like this. Parker, you're never going to have her and keep her. She's not like that, she just might not like you like that. Even if you think she does._ He hated how he knew he was right. Come on, this is Felicia Hardy. She deserves someone way better than him. But, there was still a sliver in him that hoped things would work out.

 

Felicia looked down at her lap, hearing him apologize to her. He looked hurt, even if he wasn't really expressing it. Peter looked hurt.  _If you say what you're thinking, Hardy. You may be able to cheer him up; but it could make him believe you want him back. Is that what you want?_ She mentally nodded to herself, she really wanted him. Felicia wanted to say a response to what she was thinking out loud. "Peter...don't apologize..." She took a deep breath, there was a small moment of silence before she spoke again. "...You asked me, last night, if I missed you...and I answered maybe a little..."  _Here you go, Hardy. This is it._

 

Peter looked at her, listening to her words. He didn't know where she was taking this, but he hoped this was going in a good direction.  _She's not going to say she misses you more than she said last night. This is Felicia we're talking to. Once she's done, she's done. Yes, she may have let herself go last night, but this is Felicia Hardy. She is not going to say she misses you..._

 

Felicia inhaled heavily, she was second guessing herself.  _Maybe, maybe this is a bad idea. I should just, not say anything. Tell him I forgot what I was going to say. No, I'm going to tell him. Not telling him would be rude..._ "...I may have been lying a bit..." she finally said, she looked down at her lap before continuing. "I do miss you, Peter...A lot...But, I can't-I can't be with you right now..."  _Hey, Hardy? How's it feel knowing you just broke yourself AND Peter, a second time in the span of not even five minutes? Huh? Really takes some guts to ruin yourself like that._

 

Peter nodded slightly, he wasn't expecting her to say she missed him. He was thrilled she missed him. But then she finished what she was saying. All the feelings hitting Peter like a truck.  _That's cool. Nice. Cool cool cool cool cool._ Peter tried to keep his composure in front of her. "Yeah...I understand..." he said, he didn't understand. He wanted her, more than anything. He could tell she wanted him, but then she says this?  _Maybe she just needs some time. Yeah, Parker. That's it. Give her time, she'll come back._

 

Felicia knew that hurt him, and he just didn't want to admit it. But she didn't want to admit that it hurt her. She looked up at him, looking at his face. "Go home, Peter. Your aunt's probably wondering where you are..." Felicia said. She stared at his lips. She wanted to kiss them again, badly. She moved her eyes from his lips, up to his eyes.

 

Peter nodded.  _She's right. Aunt May is probably going crazy wondering where I am._ He was lost in her eyes, he really did love them. And her. He glanced down at her lips. Man, he wanted to kiss her again. "Felicia..." he said, biting his lip. "Can I get one last kiss before I go...?" he asked. He hoped she says yes. He missed her lips, the way they clashed against his. He knew asking was a bit of a stretch, but if you never ask it'll never happen.

 

Felicia looked back down at his lips.  _Thank you, God. Thank you for having him ask, if he didn't, I wouldn't have been able to ask him myself._ She kept looking at his lips, nodding. She leaned in this time, pressing her lips against his. She moved her hand up and placed it on his cheek. Felicia missed this, and him, and everything they had. She wanted him back, but after what she said, she couldn't go back just yet.

 

Peter kissed her back, placing his hands on her waist. He brought her a bit closer, slowly deepening the kiss. This was the feeling he wanted back, this sensation of them being close to each other. How well they fit together, like two puzzle pieces. He wanted her more than anything, more than he needed oxygen.

 

Felicia deepened the kiss with him, pushing him back a bit so he laid down on the couch. She straddled his waist and held the kiss. This was what she thought was going to happen if she was the one who was drunk, but now they're both sober. And nothing about this can be called a mistake. This was real, and they both wanted this. She moved her hand to his chest, then started pecking his neck softly. Maybe she was starting something, maybe she was just getting carried away. Either way, they both liked it. But Felicia soon ended it, she kissed his lips again. Muttering on them, "you should go now..."

 

Peter gripped onto her bottom when she kissed his neck. This was something he wanted to have again, their little make out sessions on the couch. They were something he missed. He heard her mumble on his lips, responding, "yeah, I should..." He hoped he kept kissing him, that she didn't get off him and just kept this going.

 

She hovered above his lips a bit before kissing him again, this time a bit more hungrily. She didn't want him to go, she wanted to stay like this for a little longer. As long as she could keep him there, she didn't want him to leave. She didn't want to let him go. She felt Peter sit up, him holding her close to him. Just as she went to take her shirt off, she heard someone walking into the bathroom. It was one of her parents, she had forgotten they were still asleep. She panicked and got off. "One of my parents is awake, you gotta go..." Felicia said, getting up and walking to the front door.

 

Peter panicked as she did. If one of her parents saw him, he was toast. He walked behind her and stood out of the porch. "See you later, Felicia..." he said, about to leave. He then felt her take his hand and spin him around. She gave him one last kiss before she went inside. He turned and walked back to his place, smiling the entire way.  _Maybe, maybe everything will be okay. Maybe she does want me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy, i have updated. hope you're all enjoying this so far.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day.

Peter stared at the ceiling as he laid in bed. It had been just a bit over twenty four hours, and he hadn't heard from Felicia. He sent a 'good morning' text that morning to her, and got no reply. Peter waited, he thought about it and decided to wait a couple hours. He didn't want to seem desperate. Just after one in the afternoon, he tried again.

 

**"hey felicia, i was wondering what you were doing later."**

 

**"also, how are you? we haven't talked since yesterday morning so, i just wanted to know how you were feeling."**

 

Peter waited for a reply, he thought he would get a reply. _She's usually up at this time, why isn't she responding? Is she just leading me on? That one last kiss didn't seem like one that would lead to being lead on. But then again, this is Felicia._ Peter tried to do things to keep his mind off of Felicia. He didn't want to think about her hands gripping his hair, or how soft hers felt. He didn't want to think about their eyes meeting, and the swarm of butterflies that would follow. Peter didn't want to think about how their lips moved together, perfectly in sync. Or the way that she smelled like vanilla and roses.  _Dammit, Parker. You're thinking about her._

 

He waited a couple more hours, it being six o'clock now. Peter texted her again. _I'm not being desperate, I'm just making sure she's okay._ He reassured himself, he didn't want to make it weird.

 

**"felicia, you doing okay? you haven't answered my texts."**

**"im kinda getting worried, are you leading me on? cause i'd rather know than finding it out myself."**

**"just talk to me, okay? you know you can tell me anything. if the other night and yesterday morning meant nothing, just tell me."**

 

Peter put his phone down and stared at the screen. He waited for it to light up, he could feel every second pass as he waited. He would look at the time and count each second that passed, waiting. Peter decided to do something rather than sit and wait. He went to take a shower, turning on his phones ringer as loud as it could go, so he could jump out of the shower if Felicia answered. But alas, she didn't. He stood there in the shower, waiting for his phone to sound. He didn't do anything but wait. "Peter! Dinner's ready!" he heard come from the kitchen. His aunt was calling him, he grabbed his phone and walked out.

 

"Peter, you know you can't be on your phone at the table. This is you and I time, not you and your phone and me time." May said, Peter was totally lost and distracted. Staring down at his phone. "Peter, don't make me take it away." she said again, this time her voice grabbed his attention. "Sorry, May." he said, placing his phone on his lap. He was still able to see the phone if it went off. "Why are you so glued to that thing so suddenly? You were never one to bring your phone to dinner." _Well Aunt May, I'm waiting for the girl I love to answer me. We kinda had sex the other night after that party I went to. Is that what you want to hear?_

 

"I'm just waiting for a text..." he said instead, quickly thinking of a lie. "...Ned's getting him and I tickets to a private screening of...a Scott Pilgrim remake..." _Really, Parker? A Scott Pilgrim remake? That's the best you could come up with?_ Aunt May nodded, Peter played with his food. Taking small bites of the chicken. "So, how was the party you went to?" May asked, Peter panicked. He couldn't tell May about what happened between him and Felicia. "Oh, it was fun. I'm sorry I didn't come home that night, I stayed over at Ned's..." he lied, and she believed it.

 

Hours passed and it was soon midnight. Peter still got no reply from Felicia. Without thinking, he put some shoes on and snuck out the window. _Parker, what in the world are you doing?_ he asked himself, he knew what he was doing. And it seemed stupid, actually scratch that. It was stupid. _Way to go, you didn't want to seem desperate and now look at you. You're sneaking out in the middle of the night to go see her. That is the most desperate thing you could've done._ Peter tried to ignore himself, he walked his way over to Felicia's. Climbing up the side of her house, reaching her window. He knocked and waited for her to answer.

 

Felicia had been sitting at her desk, that was where she had been the entire day. She was working on a project that was due the next day, one she hadn't started yet. She tried to work on it all day, with zero distractions. But the events of the last two days were enough to keep her distracted. Felicia couldn't stop thinking about Peter. Couldn't stop thinking about how he was still good at what he did in bed. The way he ran his hands through her hair, the way he gently held her close to him. Every last moment she had with him played over and over in her mind. Feliciaheard a knock at her window, jumping out of her daze. _Who the fuck is at my window? Why are they here this late at night?_ she thought, walking over to the window. She opened the curtains to none other than Peter Parker. She opened the window and let him in, sitting back down at her desk.

 

Peter closed the window behind him and stood there, awkwardly. "Felicia, you're probably wondering why I am here..." he said, fidgeting with his hands. "Well, I've been texting you all day. Not all day like, consistently every minute. I'm not that desperate..." Peter rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling as awkwardly as he was standing. "And well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. And, I didn't know if you had gotten my texts and are just ignoring me and leading me on..." he finished. Peter felt like he had said enough, him patiently waiting for Felicia to reply.

 

Felicia listened to Peter, half listened actually. She was too caught up looking into his eyes, they were so easy to get lost in. She heard his last sentence and looked at him confused. "You've been texting me?" she asked, him nodding in response. Felicia sighed, grabbing the canvas off her desk. "Peter, I was finishing an art project that's due tomorrow...I hadn't started it so I wanted to use the day to finish it. I shut my phone all the way off so I could get some work done without any distractions..." she explained, holding up the painting.

 

Peter felt relieved. "Oh..." he looked at the painting as she held it up. "That's really good, you still have it..." Peter remembered all the times Felicia would paint little paintings. Each one having a different and specific meaning. The one she held up was different, although it was a school project, there was a certain feeling associated with it. Peter couldn't pinpoint the exact emotion, but he knew he was feeling it too. "Well, now that that's sorted. I should...I should go back home..." he said, beginning to back up to leave.

 

Felicia smiled as he complimented her painting. Little did he know, it was about him. About him and her feelings for him. The different hues of red, violently placed onto the canvas. Each brushstroke was quick and the amount of paint was thick. The red signified an association with love. Her love for him being quick as she was so easily drawn back to him. How violently she painted each stroke was how fast it took for her to fall. Each repeated stroke meaning each time she fell for him. Peter was Felicia's muse when it came to art. She noticed he was backing up, about to leave. _Now's your chance, Hardy. Keep him here._ "Peter..." she said, putting her painting down. "Can...Can you stay?" she asked. _He's bound to say yes. He walked all this way to see her, to make sure she was okay. He's going to stay._

 

Peter stopped, staring at Felicia for a second before nodding. He walked over to her bed and sat at the end of it. "You thought I was leading you on?" he heard her say. He somewhat panicked. Peter wasn't expecting her to make any comments on that, but now that she had there was no escaping it. "Oh, um...A bit, yeah...You see, I sent you a good morning text and thought you would send one back but you didn't answer. So I waited a couple hours, I texted you again and still didn't get a reply. Then I texted again and...well, here I am." Peter explained.

 

"You thought I was leading you on?" she had asked, thinking about what he explained to her. _Why would he think I'm leading him on? Was it because of that night? The kiss the next morning? What made it look like I was doing that? I would never do that to him._ Felicia listened to his explanation, hearing about his attempts to hear from her. She chuckled a bit, "you said you weren't trying to be desperate, yet you walked all the way over here..." she stated, leaning forward.

 

Peter looked at her. _Man, she is smart. I may have been denying being desperate, but that's exactly what happened. I am being desperate._ He laughed, "yeah...I do seem kinda desperate for doing that." Peter wanted her to come sit with him, on her bed. He wanted to feel like she wanted him. He needed her to be his. Peter scooted back and laid himself down, hopefully getting her attention and causing her to lay with him.

 

Felicia watched Peter lay down. _Was-was that an invitation to join him? Does he think we're going to have sex again? That was a one time thing, I'm not doing that again. Even if I desperately want to. Now I'm the desperate one, huh?_ Felicia got up and walked over. "Mind if I join you?" she asked, standing on the empty side of the bed. "No, I don't mind..." he answered, Felicia nodded and got in beside him. She didn't lay down, she just sat there beside him while he laid down. She looked over to him, scanning every inch of him. _Do it, you won't regret doing it. You'll regret NOT doing it._  Felicia took a deep breath before she placed her arm down behind her, resting herself up on her elbow beside him. She stared into his eyes before hers trailed down to his lips, she placed her hand on his cheek and she slowly leaned in. Her lips touched his softly, she felt Peter kiss her back. Felicia pulled away for a second, looking back into his eyes. She really wanted this, and him.

 

Peter was surprised she kissed him, but was happy she did. As she pulled away, he looked into her eyes. Both of them locking their stare at each other. Felicia then kissed him again, this time it was a bit more passionate. He ran his hand through her hair, tucking it behind her ear.  _Thank you. Whoever made her do this, thank you. This is what I needed, she is what I need._ He thought, he then felt Felicia move on top of him, straddling his torso. Peter rested his hands on her waist, trailing down so he held her bottom. This was the feeling he missed, the random make outs. This was a feeling he wished he had back, and hopefully could soon.

 

Felicia got into the kiss.  _Thank fuck Peter knows how to match my speed. If he didn't, this would've been really weird._ Felicia reached back, her hands leaving his face. She went to unclip her bra when she heard a knock at her door. "Felicia?" she heard, it was her father. She panicked, detaching her lips from Peter's and sitting up. "Y-yes dad?" she replied, putting her hand over Peter's mouth so he didn't make a sound. "I was just checking on you, have you finished your art project?" she was asked, her sighing. "Yes, dad. I finished it." She looked at the door,  _thank god I locked that._ "Very good...Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight." her father said, her replying "goodnight, dad." Felicia heard his footsteps get quieter as he walked down the hall. She took her hand off Peter's mouth and looked at him. Felicia bent down and kissed him again, but it was only for a short second. She got off of him and laid down beside him. Her arm resting on his chest.  _God, I miss cuddling him. But, I said what I said yesterday. I can't do a relationship right now. Oh God. Am I-am I leading him on? He knows what I told him, so it wouldn't be. Or would it? Fucking hell, why did this have to happen to me?_

 

Peter wrapped his arm around her, keeping her close.  _Felicia really did that. And her dad almost caught us._ Peter looked down at Felicia, her head resting on top of his shoulder. "Felicia..." he said, whispering. "I know you said you weren't up for a relationship right now but...what is this?" he asked. Felicia looked up at him, "what's what?" she asked back, she was so cute when she was clueless. "This. What's been going on between us...I know it's only been two days but..."  _Maybe she is leading you on, Parker. Maybe she just lied to you before. You really have put yourself in an awkward situation her, huh Parker?_ Felicia moved off of him, laying down away from him. Peter got a bit sad, he wanted to cuddle her. "I-I don't know what this is, okay? Can we just-just wait, until I know what I want?" she asked.  _She knows what she wants, she's just not admitting it. Classic Felicia._ "Yeah...yeah I can wait. I'll always wait for you..." Peter said, looking over. 

 

Felicia moved herself out of his arms, that however was where she wanted to be. In his arms, all the time.  _I'm such an idiot, I never should've let him sleep in my bed that night. This was just a terrible and huge mistake._ Felicia nodded, turning onto her side facing the wall away from him. "You can stay if you want, just leave before I do. And leave out the window, okay? I'm not having my dad find you." she said, she heard Peter reply to her. "Yeah, okay..." Felicia then felt him move, not towards her to spoon, but away from her to look at the other wall.  _Shit, what have I done? I ruined him. If he thought I was leading him on, he probably definitely believes it. Why am I such a fucking idiot?_

 

Peter turned away from her, when all he wanted was to be close to her. He wanted to hold her into his chest, hold her hands, run his fingers through her hair. But no, it seemed like Felicia wanted space, so that was what he was giving her. Space.  _I love you, Felicia..._ he wanted to say. "Goodnight, Felicia." Peter said, getting a soft, "goodnight, Peter." in response. Peter stared at the wall for thirty minutes, he wanted to cuddle her. But he couldn't.  _Maybe she was right yesterday...Maybe this was just some drunk mistake. And now I fucking hate myself for letting it happen._ Peter slowly fell asleep, his brain yelling at him. He was about to have a great morning tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup, i was bored and continued this. i hope you guys are enjoying this!!


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduces Ned, Liz, Michelle, Flash and Betty.

The next morning, Felicia's alarm went off. She groaned as she reached over and stopped the alarm from blaring. She turned over, wanting to go back to sleep. She opened her eyes a bit and saw Peter still laying there. Felicia quickly got up, her eyes wide.  _Did this idiot not- Jesus Christ, Peter no wonder you're late to homeroom all the time._ She went to shake him, then stopped. She softly smiled as she watched his chest move up and down.  _He looks so peaceful...I don't want to wake him..._ Felicia liked the feeling of waking up next to him, she never really got the chance to do that properly. They would take naps on the couch, but never slept in bed together. The last time she woke up next to him was the night he came over drunk. _Okay, enough sleeping, gotta get him out of here._ Felicia shook him, whispering, "Peter. Peter, wake up lazy bones..."

 

Peter slept through he alarms he set, and then the one Felicia had. He was busy dreaming, about her. About them, really. He dreamed of them, all grown up, living in a tiny apartment in Queens. He was a photographer for the Daily Bugle, she did art. They were happy in his dream, nothing could've hurt them. He smiled in his sleep,  _this is the perfect dream, Parker. But, you gotta wake up. Felicia wanted you out before she woke up._ Peter ignored himself, wanting to stay in his dream. He felt hands on his arm, beginning to shake him. He woke up in a panic, "what?! What- oh, Felicia...Morning..." he said, immediately jolting up.  _Shit, she's pissed I'm still here, isn't she?_

 

Felicia put her hand over his mouth, "shut up! My parents will here you." she whispered. "Why are you still here? I told you to be gone before I woke up. Peter, we have school. I'm not being late." She removed her hand from his mouth, staring at him. She leaned in and softly kissed him. She felt him kiss back, then she pulled away. "Good morning though..." she sighed, turning away and getting out of bed. Felicia walked over to her closet and picked an outfit to wear. She stripped, not caring that Peter was still there, he's seen her naked. She pulled a turtleneck over her head, putting her arms in the sleeves. "I like that shirt..." she heard from behind her, which caused her to turn. "Why are you still here?" she asked, the boy shrugging. "Seriously Peter, you gotta go home. My parents can't know you're here.  _This idiot better leave soon, I'm not dealing with the questions my dad will be asking me._

 

Peter groaned and laid back down. "I like it here though, in your bed. Come back and lay with me..." he said, holding his arms out. Felicia turned back around and finished getting dressed, Peter putting his arms back down and sitting up again. "Yeah, I get it...You can't do this right now." Peter sighed, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. "Peter, I'm not up for this conversation right now. Can we talk about this later?" he heard Felicia say. Peter got out of her bed, still wearing what he had on from yesterday.  _Just leave it, Parker. Give her the space she needs, then she'll have her mind made up. Don't force it out of her._ He walked over to her and draped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Fine..." he breathed onto her neck. 

 

 _Goddammit, Peter._ Felicia sighed, as he breathed on her neck the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She removed his arms from her waist, causing his head to move off her shoulder. Felicia turned to face him, staring up into his eyes. She kissed him again, longer this time. her arms snaked up and rested on his shoulders, his arms found their way back onto her waist, pulling her in close.  _Fuck, I miss this._ Felicia pulled away and looked at him. "Go, seriously. I'll see you at school, okay?" she said, taking her arms off his shoulders and resting her hands on his chest, pushing him away. 

 

Peter sighed, taking his arms off Felicia's waist a second time. "Alright. I'll see you at school, beautiful." he said, kissing her forehead.  _Parker, you two aren't together you can't just act like you are. She'e giving mixed signals, I know, but you can't. Wait for her._ "Alright, you drunk." she joked, causing him to laugh softly. "I'm not drunk."  _I am, I'm drunk off of my love for you._ Peter turned away and went back out the window, leaving Felicia in her room. He walked home, grabbing his bag from his room. "Peter? Is that you?" he heard.  _Shit, Aunt May._ "Uh...Yeah, May. It's me..." he called back, he was in trouble. He knew he was. Aunt May walked to his room and opened the door. "Hey, where were you?" she asked, Peter panicked. "W-what do you mean? I've been here the whole time." he lied.  _She didn't believe that, shit I'm fucked._ "No, you weren't. I walked in here an hour ago and you weren't in bed. Or hiding in your closet, or in the bathroom. Where were you, Peter?" May crossed her arms.  _Shit, I'm grounded. For sure._

 

Felicia walked out of her room, her bag over her shoulder. She held her painting. "Morning, sweetie." she heard from the kitchen as she passed it. She turned to her father, "morning, dad." Walter drank his coffee and walked over to her, noticing the painting in his hand. "That the project? Let's see it." he said, Felicia flipped over the canvas and showed her father the violent red lines painting onto it.  _Please like it, I spent the whole day thinking about Peter and painting this._ "It's very abstract. Looks like Van Gogh painted it. Very good. Go get to school now, alright pumpkin?" he said, Felicia smiling. "Alright dad, have a good day a work." she said, going up and kissing her father on the cheek. He chuckled, "no work today, meeting with Norman however. That'll be fun. Have a nice day at school." he said, she nodded and left.  _Oh no, he's talking to Norman. This is bad, shit._

 

Peter was driven to school, he got out of the car. "Bye, May. Love you." he said, looking into the car from the window. "Love you too, Peter. Have a good day." she replied, driving away once he walked away. "Hey, Penis Parker!" he heard come from the left of him.  _Great, Flash. Great way to start off the day._ "What do you want, Flash?" Peter said, stopping and turning to him. "Just wanted to say, you were really fucking drunk the other night. You were kinda pathetic, to be honest." Flash said, messing with Peter's hair. Peter turned away, sighing. "Thanks, Flash. Really needed to be reminded." He walked away, leaving Flash behind. He walked into Midtown Tech and went to his locker. He placed the books he didn't need, feeling a tap on his shoulder. "Hey, Peter," he turned around and saw his best friend, Ned. "How you feeling?" Ned asked, he was at the party with Peter, Ned was referring to the party. "Fine, I'm good." Peter replied, turning away from his locker, his eyes meeting Felicia's blonde hair walk past.

 

Felicia got to school, placed her books into her locker and headed to homeroom. She took the longer route, never doing that normally. But this way had her passing Peter's locker, so she quite liked the longer route right about now. She walked past, looking at Peter before he turned around.  _He's cute...Nope, Felicia stop. You told him you weren't ready, you're going to keep that lie going until you can't take it anymore._ Felicia walked into class, sitting down in her normal spot, beside her best friend, Liz. "Hey, Fee." she heard from beside her, causing her to smile and turn. "Morning, Liz. How's it going?" she asked, pulling the books she kept out of her bag. "Good, I'm still really sad you couldn't make my party. It would've been so much fun having you there." Liz said.  _The party I missed to go on a date, you knew this Liz._ "You know why I couldn't go..." Felicia said, Liz smirked. "I know, I know. Your date with Harry." she turned away from Felicia.  _God, I wish I could've said no to Harry. Then maybe the other night wouldn't have happened._

 

Peter sat down at his desk, he was actually on time. Ned sat in the desk beside him, Felicia was a couple desks in front and to the right. There were a couple minutes to the bell, so Peter spent his time looking at Felicia. Examining her blonde hair from the distance he was sitting. The way Liz would say something and cause Felicia to laugh.  _Man, her laugh is beautiful. Her hair looks so soft...To think my hands were running through the strands last night, I really want her back._

 

Felicia tapped her foot on the ground, waiting for the class to be over. She'd glance back at the clock, catching glimpses of Peter on her way to the clock and then turned back to the front of the class. Most of the time, she'd catch him staring.  _Peter, stop staring at me._ Felicia blushed, causing Peter to smile a bit at her.  _Dammit, Peter._ She smiled back, holding her stare for a couple seconds longer. She looked back to the front, smiling to herself.  _Felicia, no. You're supposed to be ~~over him~~ waiting for the right moment. Stop digging yourself deeper into the hole. _

 

At lunch, Peter sat with Ned and his other friend, Harry. Harry was the mayor's son, and was also the one who took Felicia on a date. "So, Peter. Did you have fun at Liz's party Friday?" Harry asked, Peter had no clue of the whereabouts Harry was on that night. "Yeah, it was fun...I didn't see you there, where were you?" he asked, Harry hesitated for a moment. "I was home, studying. Have a big test coming up, gotta make sure I'm ready for it." Peter didn't believe it at first,  _he's lying. He would totally ditch school work if it meant he could get away from his family._ But then Peter believed him,  _then again, his dad would watch him like a hawk. So I guess he isn't lying._ "That sucks, you should've been there. Peter was so drunk..." Ned started to say, then Peter abruptly but him off. "Ned, Ned. Let's not talk about that." Harry laughed at the two.

 

Felicia sat with Liz, Michelle and Betty, they were all discussing the party as well. She wasn't paying that much attention, looking over at Peter's table most of the time. "So, I was thinking if I had another party. Would it be a pool party? Or just a regular house party?" Liz asked, Felicia was zoned out. "I think a pool party would be fun, you should mix it up a little. Can't always be having the same normal party each time." Betty answered, biting into an apple. Liz nodded, then Michelle responded, "sometimes normal is fine, Betty. Just do another house party, you can make it different." Felicia kept looking over at Peter's table, she caught him staring back through her zoned out phase. She softly smiled,  _why is he so cute? How is that legal? Him being that cute shouldn't be allowed._ She was then nudged by Liz. "Hm, what?" she said, snapping back into reality and shifting her gaze to Liz. "I was asking about if I should do a pool party or another house party." Liz said, Felicia lifted her chin a bit and answered, "oh. I think another house party is fine. If people are getting drunk, a pool party is a bit dangerous." Liz noticed something was up with Felicia, from her staring into space and not paying attention. "You wanna talk about your date with Harry?" Liz said, Betty and Michelle widened their eyes. "You went on a date with Harry!" Betty said a bit too loud. Felicia shushed her, "sh, keep it down. Yes, I did."

 

Peter was zoned out, looking at Felicia.  _She's really pretty. Is it okay for someone to be that pretty? I don't think it is, cause she's way too pretty._ He caught Felicia staring at him, their eyes locking, he couldn't help but smile. She smiled back, he loved her smile. She then broke their gaze, being nudged by Liz. Peter frowned a bit and looked back to his group. "You good, Parker?" Harry asked, Peter nodding. "Yeah, yeah. Totally fine. I have to use the bathroom for a second. I'll be back." He got up and left, just before Betty blurted out, "you went on a date with Harry?" Ned heard, looking at Harry. "You went on a date with someone? When? Who?" Harry gaped slightly. "Okay, Ned. You can't tell Peter. Promise me you won't." Ned nodded, "I promise." Harry looked at the door, making sure Peter didn't come back as he spoke. "Okay...I took Felicia out on a date, on Friday...I lied, I know Peter still kinda likes her and I didn't want to hurt him so I just...lied." Ned stared at him. "You lied to Peter, about taking his ex-girlfriend out on a date?" Harry looked at the door to the cafeteria again. "Yes, now you can't tell him I said anything. It's not like I had a choice to ask her." Ned looked at him confused, "what do you mean?" Just then, Peter came back. He sat down beside Ned and looked at the two. They talked a bit more, then the bell rang. 

 

Felicia and her group left the cafeteria, Liz pulled her aside. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked her, Felicia looked at her confused. "What do you mean? I'm fine." She lied,  _one thing I shouldn't do. Lie to Liz, she sees right through me. Only other person who can is Peter._ "Don't lie to me, Fee. I saw you at lunch. You were zoned out, looking over at Harry. Did something happen on the date?" Liz asked,  _dammit. She's really gonna get me to talk._ "I wasn't...I wasn't looking at Harry...Liz can we not talk about this right now?" she didn't want to explain this all, in the middle of a school hallway. She didn't want to tell her best friend she had sex with her ex in the middle of a hallway. Or anywhere in the school. "If you weren't looking at Harry, who..."  _I think it clicked._ "Were you looking at...Peter?"  _It clicked._ "Liz can...can we talk about this somewhere else? Can we talk about it after school? Your place?" Felicia started to get anxious, she didn't want Liz to make her spill everything right there. "Yeah, sure...You want to have an emergency girls night? I can invite Mj and Betty..." Felicia nodded slightly, "yeah, that'd be nice. I'll see you after school." Liz nodded and Felicia walked away. She turned a corner and accidentally bumped into someone, that person just so happened to be Peter.

 

Peter walked out of the other doors of the cafeteria, leaving Ned and Harry who went through the others. He walked, thinking of ways to get Felicia back.  _Maybe, I can have band help- no, she's going to come back on her own. I can't make someone come back._ He went to turn a corner and bumped into someone. Felicia Hardy. "I'm so sorry...oh, hey Peter..." she said, looking up at him.  _Her eyes are really pretty. How is everything about her so fucking pretty?_ "Hey...and it's okay. I'm the one who's sorry, I was zoned out." he said, a smile formed on his face. "Zoned out while walking through the halls? That's a dangerous thing, could bump into anything. A wall, a locker..." she said, only one thing coming to his mind. "I bumped into you...I should try being zoned out and walking more often..." Felicia smiled, looking down. "Shut up, loser." she laughed, which caused him to. "I should uh...what are you doing after school?" Peter asked, Felicia looked back up. "I'm going over to Liz's...I should, get to class. You too." Peter frowned a bit, not making it noticeable to Felicia. "Oh...yeah, I should too...See you later." he said, she nodded and walked away. Peter turned back, watching Felicia walk down the hall.  _Better luck next time I guess._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so hi, i've updated. i'll post the next chapter soon, so get ready for a chapter all on Felicia with her girls night.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girls night at Liz's.

Felicia walked out of class alongside Liz. Liz was texting Mj and Betty for an emergency girls night. Felicia was anxious.  _No one knows about this, how the fuck am I going to explain it to them? How am I going to explain EVERYTHING to them? Will they even understand?_

 

"Okay, Betty is down. Mj usually is okay with this stuff, and it's for you. She loves you, so she's going to be there." Liz said, Felicia barely listening as she was freaking out on the inside.  _What if when I tell them, they start to yell at me? Ask me what the fuck I was thinking? Or, why in the world would I do that? But then again, this is them. They'd never yell at me for anything._

 

Felicia slightly nodded at what she couldn't hear. Liz continuing to speak. "My mom's picking us up, do you need to get anything from home?" Felicia didn't hear the question, her palms started to clam up. Her breathing hitched slightly.  _They won't understand. None of them, they are going to look at me like I'm insane. I don't think I can do this, I think I have to call this off. Tell Liz that I can't tonight, or get sick. Something to get out of this._

 

"Felicia?" Liz said, noticing Felicia was zoned out. She felt a nudge at her arm, breaking her out of her panic. "Huh? What?" she said, looking over to Liz. "I asked if...Felicia, are you okay? You know we don't need to do a whole girls night if it's that stressful..." Felicia shook her head, even though her mind was set on cancelling. "No. No, it's fine. I want you all to listen, okay? Don't call off girls night..."  _Actually, I want to call it off. I'm just too far in and you are suspicious and you've already told the others. Fuck, I shouldn't have said anything earlier._

 

Liz nodded, finding her mom in the school's parking lot. They both got in and drove off to Liz's house. Michelle and Betty got there minutes later.

 

"So, why was an emergency hang out planned?" Mj asked, sitting on the floor. Betty sat beside her, Liz sitting on her desk chair and Felicia on Liz'z bed. "Fee, here had something to tell us." Liz said, Betty inching closer like a first grader during story time.  _Okay, time to get sick. Just throw up everywhere, avoid talking._

 

"You know, it's nothing. I should've just told you to cancel..." Felicia said, looking down at her lap. "No, Felicia. You were zoned out at lunch. I thought you were daydreaming about Harry but you were looking at Peter..." Liz exclaimed, Mj looked over at Felicia. "You were staring at Peter? Why? He's your ex."  _Mj is right, but she doesn't know about everything yet._

 

"I'm aware he's my ex...Fine, I'll tell you..." she took a deep breath as the other girls waited. "I still like him..." She continued.  _That's a lie, you still love him. _The girls looked at her, Liz seeing right through Felicia but didn't comment on it. "Well, of course you still like him. As a friend, as a person. But you lost feelings, and now you're going on dates with Harry Osborn. Forget about Peter." Betty said, Felicia looking right at her as she said her last sentence.

 

"Betty, I didn't lose feelings. And to be honest, I never did. I still...I still love him." She explained, Mj and Betty's mouths gaped. "You still love Peter?" Mj asked, Felicia nodding in response. "Then why did you go on that date with Harry?" Mj asked again, Felicia fiddled with her thumbs. "Because I couldn't say no."

 

The girls faces turned confused. "Then why do you still love Peter? Usually when someone can't say no, it's cause they've been dying to go out with them." Betty said,  _goddammit Betty. I'm not that someone you're thinking of._ "No, Betty. I couldn't say no...because i didn't have a choice. It was and arranged date..."  _And now they're gonna know why I broke it off with Peter._

 

"Arranged? By who?" Liz asked, Felicia going silent until she spoke again. "My dad...and Harry's dad..." Felicia watched the girls faces change immediately. "So you mean to tell us, you and Harry went on that date...because your parents told you to? That's bullshit." Mj replied first, Felicia didn't know if Mj was mad at her or the parents. "You know my dad. He wants me with the best. Remember me on the volleyball team? My dad taught me to strive for the best. Sometimes, my best isn't his best. Which is why I had to break up with Peter in the first place. Cause he may have been MY best...but he wasn't for my dad." Felicia explained, the girls staying silent as she spoke. "My dad thinks Harry is the best for me...He's the mayor's son, that screams perfect."

 

Betty and Liz exchanged looks, Mj fixed on Felicia. "But you don't want perfect...do you?" Betty asked, Felicia took a shaky breath and shook her head. "Peter's my perfect...I want Peter, but because of my dad I can't have him." Mj got up and sat beside Felicia, putting her arm around her and pulled her in for a side hug. "I will fight your dad and Harry's dad. You deserve to have what you want, Fee..." she said, Felicia wiping a tear off her cheek. "Thanks Mj..." She was silent for a minute and then spoke again, "you know, the night of the date...the party...and how Peter was drunk?" 

 

Betty laughed, "yeah, oh my God. Peter was so drunk, he got onto Liz's table and started shouting the Barney theme song. Word for word, with all the dance move actions. Then he almost fell off the table trying to spin. It was so funny." Felicia smiled,  _that sounds like something drunk Peter would do._ "Yeah, it was totally what you'd expect drunk Peter to do." Liz said, setting Felicia up for the perfect way to tell them. "I'm also something drunk Peter would do..." The others stayed silent for a second. "What does that mean?" Mj asked, taking her arm off Felicia's shoulder.

 

"It means..."  _Tell them, they need to know. You've already set it up, you have to tell them now._ "It means...he came over to my place late that night, he had drunk texted me tat he missed me and I was stupid and let him come over. Then I was stupid and let him sleep in my bed with me. And then...we had sex, cause I was stupid. I was the sober one how did I just, let him. I was okay with it, how?" Betty and Liz jumped up. "YOU HAD SEX WITH PETER?" Betty yelled, Felicia going down and covering Betty's mouth with her hands. "Shut up! Yes, I had sex with Peter. But if I hadn't, the whole Harry thing would've worked. This only made my existing feelings grow, it reignited the flame." 

 

Liz looked over to Mj, then to Felicia and Betty. "So what you're saying is if he hadn't gotten drunk. And if he hadn't texted you, and you hadn't let him go over to your place and let him lay in your bed. If you hadn't let him do anything, you and Harry would've been a thing?" Liz asked, all the questions she stated made thoughts flood Felicia's mind.  _She's right. I can't argue with any of that._ "Technically, yes. But I wanted it...I wanted him. I still want him. But I can't have him, because my dad doesn't care about what everyone else wants. Only himself."

 

Betty looked at Felicia, slapping her arm. "Fee, if you want the boy. You be with the boy. To hell with what your dad wants, you don't want what he does. He has no power over what you want. You clearly want Peter, be with him." Betty said,  _Betty's right. God, this is exhausting. I just want him, why am I so afraid of what my dad would do if he found out I wanted Peter again?_ Silence fell upon the group, Mj being the first to break it before Felicia's mind flooded with more thoughts. "So, are you and Peter like...secretly dating?" 

 

 "No. I told him I needed time and I couldn't do a relationship but man, I hate myself for lying to him. I really want to be with him again. I'm just scared about what my dad would do if he found out." Felicia sighed, Liz then got up and walked to her. Holding her hand out for her. "Come on. Let's do some face masks and watch some horror movies. You need to take your mind off this."  _And again, Liz is right. That's all I need, to forget about everything for a bit._

 

After the girls finished their face masks, they put on Scream. Felicia sat in between Liz and Mj, they were both so fixated on the movie that they didn't notice Felicia's phone light up. 

 

**"hey felicia."**

 

A text from Peter was the reason her phone lit up. She immediately smiled, contemplated responding. She however, couldn't help herself.  **"hey peter. how are you?"**

 

**"i'm ok. you?"**

 

 _Do I say I'm not doing that well because I just told people about my situation? Or do I lie to him and act like everything's perfectly normal?_ **"i'm doing good. i'm at liz's watching movies."**

 

**"oh...do you want me to leave you to it then?"**

 

Felicia read the text, immediately answering.  **"no, no. i've seen this movie a bunch of times. it's okay. don't leave."**

 

**"ok, so. how was school?"**

 

  _He knows how school was for me. I was distracted, I could only think of him._ **"boring. i couldn't focus."**

 

**"why couldn't you?"**

 

 _Is he playing? Idiot._   **"i was focused on you."**

 

**"oh, really?"**

 

 _Peter, are you serious? You caught me staring at you each time. Of course I was focused on you._ **"yeah..."**

 

**"ok...i was distracted too. i was too busy thinking about you."**

 

Felicia smiled,  _man. I am in love with this kid._ **"oh yeah? in what way** **? please don't tell me you got a boner in fifth while thinking about me."** she teased. Felicia always did this when they were together.

 

**"nO! no. i wasn't thinking about you like that...but now that i'm at home and alone in my room, i'm thinking like that now. but no. i was thinking about how cute you are. how liz could say anything and make you laugh. i could listen to your laugh all day. and look at your beautiful smile."**

 

 _He's really the love of my life, huh? Jeez, Peter._ Felicia smiled at her phone, then looked around making sure no one noticed her. As she presumed, they were all focused on the TV.  **"really? is that all you thought about?"**

 

**"i thought about us. everything we had. everything we could have again. i'm not trying to make you do anything you don't want to do. i would never do that. i just really miss you."**

 

 _Peter, why did you have to say that? How do I answer that? Why did he have to make this difficult now?_ **"i know you wouldn't do that. and i know you're not trying to pressure me. i miss you too. but you know i can't right now. i'll tell you when i'm ready, i promise you that. right now just isn't a good time."** _There I go again, lying to him._

 

**"yeah, i know. anyways, what's going on in the movie right now?"**

 

That was the last thing Felicia read before Mj snatched her phone. "Excuse me, what is more important that Scre- oh. I see. Peter's more important than girls night, huh?" Betty leaned over, "what!? Felicia Hardy, are you cheating on us with Peter?" Liz then joined in on their conversation. "Hey, Michelle. Text Peter, 'Peter, I love you and I want to be with you. But not right now, you have to wait for my dad to be okay with it. But, let's fuck.' and then send a winky face." The girls laughed, Mj looking at the phone again. "Oh my God! Her contact name for him is his name with a fucking heart with an arrow in it."

 

Felicia suddenly got anxious, she didn't want them reading the conversation her and Peter. "Give me my phone back." she said, trying to grab it from Mj. "Ah ah ah, no. Not until we know why you chose Peter over us." Mj replied, scrolling to the top of the conversation and reading out loud the texts.  _SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT NOPE NOT GOOD._ Mj got to the part about the boner and wheezed. "Oh man, Peter's a horny one isn't he. But, I guess since /you/ were the one to mention boners first. You're both pretty horny." Felicia grabbed the phone out of her friends hands and turned it off. "I can't believe you just read my conversation with Peter, OUT LOUD." she said, the others giggling. 

 

**"felicia? you still there?"**

 

Felicia got up and walked to the bathroom, replying to Peter.  **"yeah, mj took my phone. sorry. and idk what's going on, not paying attention."**

 

**"tell mj i wont give her the answers to the chemistry questions that are due tomorrow. and, too focused on me again?"**

 

Felicia laughed, texting Mj what Peter had said. Hearing a, "SHIT NO, THAT'S DUE TOMORROW?" from the room.  **"well, i was texting you and not watching the movie. so you could say i had no interest in watching it."** _Am I flirting? I think I'm flirting._

 

**"that's a good thing right?"**

 

 _Fucking idiot, I love you._   **"yes, that's a good thing. what are you doing?"**

 

**"i'm sitting in my room, working on my chemistry work."**

 

 _Alright, now's your chance._ **"mind if i come over?"** Felicia waited a minute for Peter to respond. 

 

  **"no, no i don't mind. but aren't you at liz's?"**

 

 _That is where you are wrong, my love. I mean, I'm still here but, you're still wrong._ **"i can sneak out. and then tell liz i did, so she doesn't worry about me."**

 

**"ok, i'll see you soon then."**

 

Felicia turned her phone off and shoved it into her pocket. She opened the window and climbed out of it. She jumped off the little roof and walked her way to Peter's.  _I can't wait to see him, I know I saw him earlier but, I miss him. A lot. Maybe this is a bad idea, but you never know if they are until you go through with them._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh hello, i have updated. should i post peter's p.o.v from this chapter as the next one? let me know if you'd want that.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's Point of View

Peter walked out of class, wanting to go speak to Felicia again. But when he went to talk, she had left down the hall with Liz. All class she looked anxious. She didn't look back at him once during the entire class, which she had been doing all day. Peter was slightly concerned, but the class had a strict teacher so he saw why she wouldn't have been staring at him.

 

He had nothing to do after school. Harry had an important thing with his dad and Ned was busy with a bunch of homework. Peter was left alone, seeing that the only other person he would want to hang out with was Felicia. And she left with Liz. He decided to just walk around, stopping by Delmar's for his usual sandwich. After he retrieved his food, he texted his aunt.  **"i'm going for a walk, i'll be back later."**

 

**"alright, don't be out too long."**

 

Peter put his phone away and pulled his sandwich out. He walked around the neighborhood, eating and sightseeing. He found streets and little roundabouts he hadn't ever seen before.  _Why have I never been around here? Everything looks so nice._ As he walked, he realized he hadn't been thinking about Felicia. For the first time in a while, he wasn't thinking about her. It felt nice, being able to forget for a couple minutes. But the more he didn't think about her, the more he felt he missed her.

 

He walked back to his apartment, seeing that it was starting to get late. He passed by the new streets, reaching the familiar ones. Peter got inside, placed his backpack where he always did and walked into the living room. "Hey, May. Did you know that there's a roundabout a couple streets over?" he asked, plopping himself onto the couch.

 

"Yes, I did." she laughed, Peter nodded. "Well, you've been here longer than I have. Of course you knew. But, even after all the walks I've been on. I've never seen it before." May turned to him, "well, your uncle took me down there a lot. It leads to a tiny park. It has a little playground and a cute gazebo."  _May, thank you for telling me this._ Peter nodded again, then stood up. "I got some homework to do, you'll call me when dinner's ready, right?" he asked, May nodding.

 

He left to his room, he didn't really have much homework. Only some chemistry questions due the next day. He grabbed a notepad and started jotting down notes.  _Okay, need a picnic basket. Some string lights, what else would be cute? Uhhh, some music I guess._ He then wrote down the address of the roundabout and put his notepad away, grabbing his textbook out of his bag. "Alright, an entire two pages of questions due tomorrow. That's easy."

 

Time passed, Peter ate and kept working on his homework. He got sidetracked a bit, looking at his phone.  _Do I text her? She may be busy, I don't want to interrupt anything._ He put his pencil down and grabbed his phone. Leaning back in his chair and texting Felicia.  **"hey felicia."**

 

**"hi peter. how are you?"**

 

Peter smiled,  _sooo she's not busy. That's good._ **"i'm ok. you?"**

 

**"i'm doing good. i'm watching a movie with liz."**

 

_On second thought, she is busy. I knew she would be. So much for wanting to text her._ **"oh...do you want me to leave you to it then?"**

 

**"no, no. i've seen this movie a bunch of times. it's okay. don't leave."**

 

Seeing the words "don't leave" made Peter's heart flutter. It made him think she wanted him to stay, even if it's just texting. And that made him feel happy.  **"ok, so. how was school?"**

 

**"boring. i couldn't focus."**

 

 _I could tell. If the subject was me, however, you would've been really focused._ Peter wanted to tell her he knew, but wanted to keep the conversation flowing.  **"why couldn't you?"**

 

**"i was focused on you."**

 

There it was, the sentence to make anyone smile. Peter was now smiling like an idiot at his phone.  _I feel great because of this girl. Wow, I sure do love her. Time to keep playing dumb._ **"oh, really?"**

 

**"yeah..."**

 

 _Why does that make her sound embarrassed?_ **"ok...i was distracted too. i was too busy thinking about you."** It was true, he kept thinking about her. And only her.

 

**"oh yeah? in what way? please don't tell me you got a boner in fifth while thinking about me."**

 

Peter choked,  _she really said that. She has to be teasing me or something._ **"nO! no. i wasn't thinking about you like that...but now that i'm at home and alone in my room, i'm thinking like that now."** _Gotta fight fire with fire, she teases me then I tease back. Just like old times._ **"but no. i was thinking about how cute you are. how liz could say anything and make you laugh. i could listen to your laugh all day. and look at your beautiful smile."**

 

**"really? is that all you thought about?"**

 

Peter paused for a couple seconds, not wanting to bring anything up.  **"i thought about us. everything we had. everything we could have again. i'm not trying to make you do anything you don't want to do. i would never do that. i just really miss you."** Peter stared at his screen for a minute waiting for her reply.

 

**"i know you wouldn't do that. and i know you're not trying to pressure me. i miss you too. but you know i can't right now. i'll tell you when i'm ready, i promise you that. right now just isn't a good time."**

 

Peter sighed, he knew this was coming.  _Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Should've just said that was all I was thinking about._ **"yeah, i know. anyways, what's going on in the movie right now?"** Peter waited. A minute passed and he had no reply. It hit three minutes without a reply, Peter wanting to text again. _Where did she go? Is she paying attention to the movie now? Felicia, come back._

 

Peter waited another three minutes before texting,  **"felicia? you still there?"** _God, I'm needy._

 

**"yeah, mj took my phone. sorry. and idk what's going on, not paying attention."**

 

Peter smiled once the reply was sent.  **"tell mj i won't give her the answers to the chemistry questions that are due tomorrow. and, too focused on me again?"**   _My turn to tease._

 

**"well,  i was texting you and not watching the movie. so you could say i had no interest in watching it."**

 

_She sounds like she's...flirting. Let's flirt back._ **"that's a good thing right?"**

 

**"yes, that's a good thing. what are you doing?"**

 

Peter looked at his phone,  _what does she mean? Why does she want to know what I'm doing? I'm not complaining but why?_ **"i'm sitting in my room, working on my chemistry work."** He was actually just sitting there, his work hadn't been touched for a while.

 

**"mind if i come over?"**

 

Peter looked at the screen with wide eyes _. She...she wants to come over? Felicia Hardy actually wants to- shit I gotta get rid of this homework._ **"no, no i don't mind. but aren't you at liz's?"**

 

**"i can sneak out. and then tell liz i did, so she doesn't worry about me."**

 

Peter laughed.  _Liz would totally worry._ **"ok. i'll see you soon then."** Peter got up, making sure his window was open for her to come in. He knew she wouldn't be dumb enough to come through the front door.  _Aunt May would freak if she saw Felicia in here without coming through the front door though. Oh well.\_

Peter waited, spinning in his desk chair.  _I wonder why she suddenly wants to play my role and sneak over. Whatever, she's cute._

 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Felicia are hanging out. Get's smutty.

Felicia got to Peter's, climbing up the fire escape. She felt...excited. Part of her was nervous but she chose to ignore that, seeing she didn't know why she was.  _Is he going to stop doing his work when I get up there? Is he already waiting?_ She reached his window, seeing it was wide open.  _Awe, he kept the window open for me. How sweet._ She climbed in, watching him spin in his desk chair.  _Should I say something? Nah, I'm just going to let him see I'm here._

 

Peter kept spinning, getting really dizzy. He decided to stop, wanting to check if Felicia was there yet. As he stopped, he saw someone sitting on his bed. Peter freaked, the chair tipping backwards and him falling over along with it. He then saw it was Felicia. "Jeez, Felicia. Tell me you're here next time." he whispered, knowing the loud crash of his chair and body hitting the floor would've caused Aunt May to question things.

 

Felicia laughed silently at him.  _Idiot_. "But you looked like you were having fun." she whispered back, smiling after noticing the smile on his face. The next second passed and they both paused. "Peter? What was that?" Aunt May had yelled. Felicia heard the creaking of floorboards, knowing May was walking over. Her first instinct was to jump out the window, but Peter took her hand and put her in his closet.

 

Peter panicked, hearing the floorboards creak louder as May got closer.  _Where do I put Felicia? Uhhh, the closet._ He took her hand and put her into the closet, putting his finger to his lips to tell her to stay quiet. He closed the doors and answered May. "Ugh, nothing! Just me spinning in my chair!"

 

He hoped that worked, so he could take Felicia out of his closet. But Aunt May walked into his room. "Are you okay?" she asked, he nodded. "Okay...Be careful next time, okay?" She then said again, he nodded.

 

"I'm going out for a bit. If you need a snack, there's leftovers." She walked away, Peter went to his door and watched her leave. "Bye, May!" he said as she walked out the door.

 

Felicia, still stuck in the closet, waited patiently. She loved May, she really cared for Peter and Felicia loved that. She heard Peter's door close and watched the doors in front of her open. "Hey." she said, a small grin on her face. She walked out of the closet and sat back down on his bed. 

 

"I almost jumped out of the window because I didn't know where to go." she continued, watching Peter pick his chair back up and sit down on it.

 

"Oh really? You were willing to jump out of the window?" He asked, leaning back in his chair. He watched her nod and laughed. "I see...So, we have the place to ourselves..." He mentioned, he didn't want to suggest anything.

 

But, he was subtly suggesting something.

 

Felicia leaned forward, sitting on the edge of the bed. "We do...What were you suggesting?" She asked, she knew what he was suggesting though.  _I know you, horny little shit._ Felicia smirked a bit, she was teasing.

 

Peter's cheeks tinted pink.  _Oh shit, she knows. Abort mission, change the subject for a minute._ "Are you hungry? Did you eat anything at Liz's?" He felt like saying 'what the hell?' and kissing her, but it was too early.

 

Felicia mentally pouted.  _Oh, I really thought he was suggesting sex._ "Um, a bit. We ate popcorn during the movie. And by we, I mean Liz, Mj and Betty ate it all while I was- you know? Sidetracked." She looked at him, for some reason she could see right through his questions. She knew he was hiding the real question.

 

Peter nodded, "alright. Yeah, I know what you mean." He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "May made lasagna, so there's leftovers if...if you want some."  _God this is getting awkward now and I don't know how long May is going to be gone for. Hurry up, Parker. Do something._

 

Felicia stayed seated, examining Peter.  _He's nervous. I can tell because the more nervous he gets, the more awkward he is. He's denying something._ "Yeah...Okay, thanks Peter." she said, staring at his lips.

 

The feeling inside her, wanting her to push herself forward to connect their lips together grew. And eventually, it grew so much that she did. Felicia had gotten off his bed, leaned over to him in the chair and kissed him.

 

Peter sat in surprise.  _She's actually kissing me. I'm glad she was the one to do it. 'Cause I wouldn't have done shit for a solid thirty minutes._ Peter kissed back, standing up slowly and cupping her face. The kiss was soft, sweet and deep. Only for a short while. He moved his hands to her waist, pulling her closer. He felt her smile onto his lips, her arms snaking around his neck. "Hey..." he whispered onto his lips, "Felicia..."

 

Felicia adjusted her arms, smiling as she was pulled closer.  _I want to stay like this forever. This is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Please, let me have him._ She heard him whisper, wondering why he was. They were the only two in the apartment. "Yeah..." she whispered back, pulling away and looking up at him.

 

Peter stared into her eyes.  _Shit, Felicia don't distract me like this. You know I get lost in your eyes._ He cleared his throat and responded. "I don't know when May's coming back...so, let's make this quick." He reattached their lips, moving his hands under her shirt and onto her hips.\

 

Felicia nodded, her lips meeting his again. She felt his hands on touch her skin, the feeling shooting shivers down her spine. She took her shirt off, throwing it wherever. Felicia pulled Peter's shirt off, him helping her take it off. She threw that in an opposite direction to her shirt. Both topless, she felt his hands slide up from her waist to the back of her bra. Unclipping it without any problems. 

 

Peter unclipped her bra, first try. He'd gotten better at it. He took the bra and dropped it, picking Felicia up. He walked over to his bed and placed her down, hovering above her and grabbing her thigh.

 

His lips attached to hers, sliding his tongue in. It collided with Felicia's, them both exploring each other. Their tongues moved together like it was a choreographed dance. Felicia tangled her fingers in his hair, tugging at it.

 

Peter got up and grabbed her waistband, unbuttoning her pants and pulling them off. He moved his hand back up, resting on the waistband of her underwear. Peter slid his hand down, rubbing her through the fabric.

 

A small moan left Felicia's mouth, the sensation of his hand rubbing up against the cloth and her clit was exhilarating. He started off slow, making sure the pace was nice. He took the underwear off and slid a finger into her entrance. Thrusting his finger into her slowly.

 

Felicia's breathing hitched, the feeling was extraordinary. With each thrust of his finger, the more she would moan. Peter then incorporated a second finger, making 'come here' motions. The moved his fingers in and out at the same time. Causing her to moan louder, him hitting her g-spot.

 

Felicia gripped onto the bed-sheets, tilting her head back. "Faster..." she breathed out, Peter nodding and picking up the pace. "Faster..." she repeated, him speeding up. Felicia felt herself get there, gripping onto the sheets tighter. "Right there, don't stop..." She moaned, Peter keeping his pace and constantly fingering her. He grew hard, she noticed him grow in his jeans. She moved her hand up and palmed him. 

 

Peter felt a rush, resting himself on his forearm beside her. The faster she got, the harder he got. "Felicia..." he breathed against her neck. "Let me...let me fuck you." She nodded, removing her hand. He slid his fingers out, the feeling leaving her. But would soon be back. Peter took his pants off, his hard-on springing up once out of his pants. He positioned himself, slowly entering her. He moved in and out slowly, heavily breathing. 

 

Felicia felt the feeling again, but this time it was more overwhelming. More prominent. She moaned, wrapping her arms around him. He sped up, sticking to the pace for a minute. He groaned, the way he felt inside her making him want to speed up, go faster. But, he wanted to be on the line between making love and fucking. He wanted to be passionate and take his time with her, but never knew when May was getting home. So fast, messy and rough was how he had to go. But still, he wanted to be sort of slow. 

 

She held onto him, each stroke made her get closer to her climax.  _Is this wrong? Should we be doing this? I don't think we should, but fuck does this feel good._ They moaned, a brief period of time where their moans synced and was amplified. The neighbors could probably hear, but honestly, they didn't care. Peter thrusted faster, each thrust sending them both into absolute pleasure. Peter got sloppy, Felicia holding onto him. The closer she brought him, the more she wanted to just hold him. 

 

Just, hold him. Not sexually or anything, she just wanted to wrap her arms around him. Lay in bed for hours on end and stay there. No talking, just silence. The only noise to be heard would be the sound of cars honking and driving by, their breathing filling the room. Calming, and relaxing. 

 

Felicia and Peter finished, him plopping himself beside her.  _Don't question anything, actually do question some things._ "Felicia...what are we doing?" Peter asked, he had no clue what this was. The teasing, the almost make out sessions, this moment. Felicia didn't know what it was either. "I...I don't know, Peter." she replied, a sigh leaving her lips.

 

"I know you aren't ready yet, but...I'm so confused, Felicia." Peter continued, she got up and grabbed his shirt. "I'm gonna eat some of that lasagna..." she ignored him, something she thought she would never do.  _I am too, Peter. I am too._ She put the shirt on and walked out of his room to the kitchen, grabbing a plate from the cabinet.

 

Before Felicia could get her piece of lasagna, she heard the sound of keys outside the front door.  _May, shit. Fuck fuck fuck. Gotta hide._ She darted back to Peter's room as fast as she could, running into the closet. "May's back." she whispered, causing the sense of panic to fill Peter again. He immediately closed the doors on her, got some sweatpants and a top on, then quickly went out to meet May.

 

"Hey, May. You're back." he said, loud enough for Felicia to hear.  _Okay, Felicia. Quietly get dressed._ She got out of the closet as quietly as she could, getting her clothes back on. Keeping his shirt on. She took a deep breath before climbing out of the window, leaving Peter a text.  **"im sorry... i really am."**


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hold onto your seats boys

 Peter was stood in the kitchen, May in front of him taking her coat off. "So, you finish your work while I was gone?" May asked, taking her arm out of the sleeve.  _Well, I finished something alright._ "Yeah, I did." He replied, still in panic about Felicia being there. He saw the plate that Felicia had on the counter, picking it up and going to get some lasagna for her. "Hungry?" May asked, noticing her nephew grabbing the plate. "Oh... Yeah, chemistry makes me hungry." He responded, cutting up a slice and putting it on the plate.

 

Peter rummaged through the utensil drawer and collected a fork. "I'm gonna eat this in my room, night May." He said before darting down the hall before his aunt could answer. He quickly closed the door, listening for Aunt May to make sure they were safe. "Alright, Felicia. You can come out of the closet now--" Peter turned, observing the empty and opened closet. He stood there holding the plate of lasagna, perplexed.  _Where did she go?_  

 

Peter glanced over to the open window, the sudden realization hitting him. She had left. Peter set the plate down on his desk, closing the window. He sighed and sat down on his desk chair. He picked his phone up and turned it on, reading the text that was left for him.

 

**"im sorry...i really am."**

 

 _What? What does she mean? Did I do something wrong? Is she rethinking everything?_ Peter turned his phone off and left it face down on the desk. He laid down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Confusion and worry were the only two emotions that Peter felt. He wanted to ask where she went. If she's safe. What he did. Anything. He wanted answers, but didn't want to pry at her. Make her feel uncomfortable with the amount of questions he had.

 

Peter groaned, turning onto his side. He wanted her close, to hold her to his chest and leave her there. In his arms. The feeling of them pressed together, their hearts beating at the same time. He wanted to trace his hands on her skin, gently as if she would shatter. He desired to run his hands through her hair. Feeling the soft and silky strands sliding between his fingers. Peter wanted her so desperately, it pained him whenever she said she couldn't do this. 

 

He imagined what it would be like if she didn't call it off. They would be celebrating their year together, which that anniversary would've been in a few days. Peter imagined all the gifts he would've gotten her, then her telling him he didn't have to get her anything. He would tell her, "but it's our year, and I feel like you deserve more than what I got you because you're just that amazing." And Felicia would tell him, "but, Peter. I don't need any of this, I have all I want right here in front of me."

 

A tear left his eye as he imagined everything. Every word he thought Felicia would say to him, he heard in her voice. Her soft and gentle, a slight accent that was barely noticeable unless she wanted it to be noticed. He wiped the loose tear off his cheek and buried his face into his pillow, letting out a small and quiet scream.  _Why am I so in love with her? Why won't she just tell me she doesn't want to start over? That she doesn't want me, even though it's obvious she does. Does she even want me?_

 

Peter didn't sleep that night, he was too busy overthinking everything. He sat up sluggishly, wiping his eyes and falling asleep for a second. As he drifted off, May walked into the room. "Peter-- oh, you're up. Come on, I made breakfast. And I'll drive you to school, come on." She walked over to him, noticing his eyes looked red and puffy. "Peter, are you okay?" She asked,  _shit. I don't want to have to explain to her everything._ "Yeah, I'm just tired. I'll nap on the ride there." He got up and walked out of his room into the kitchen.

 

He grabbed himself some food and ate, trying to stuff his mouth before May could ask him any questions. May sat across from him, but didn't speak. She could tell he didn't want to talk but was still curious and concerned. Peter finished scarfing down his food and quickly got up, grabbing his schoolbag and heading to the car. May followed behind, getting in and starting the car.

 

"Peter, is everything okay?" she asked, starting to drive off. Peter exhaled, wanting to sleep instead of explain. "Yeah, I'm fine." he answered, dozing off before May could ask anymore questions. He hated keeping things from her, he didn't want to worry her. 

 

Arriving at school, May woke Peter up. He looked outside, dreading to walk out and see Felicia. He loved her, but seeing her after last night. After she left, with the note they left things off on. The text he got from her. Peter never thought he would be thinking this, but he wanted to give her space. To leave her alone. Eventually, forget about her for a while. Even though she is something that could never leave his mind.

 

"Go, Peter. You're not being late when I drove you here." May said, looking at Peter who was busy staring out the window. "May, can... Can I just stay home?" Peter said, looking over to his aunt. His under eyes were dark, but not prominent. This had been the first time he's had a sleepless night, but his eyes still looked red and somewhat swollen from crying all night.

 

"No, Peter. I didn't drive you here just to drive you back. Is something bothering you? Is that why you want to go home?" she asked, Peter thinking she was prying answers out of him. "No. Fine, bye May." Peter got out of the car, he knew as soon as he got home May would be asking him all sorts of questions.  _I have to tell her eventually. She's gotta know._

 

He slowly walked in, making his way to his locker. Walking to it, he heard a familiar laugh. Her laugh.  _She's laughing? Did Liz say something? Why is she laughing after last night? Am I the only one who cried?_ Peter had every question run through his mind, turning down the hall towards his class. He wanted to avoid his locker, seeing that Liz's was near his, and Felicia would most likely be with her.

 

He sat at his desk, sighing heavily. His head in his hands.  _I got five minutes before class starts, I can have a little nap._ Peter closed his eyes, drifting off for what he thought was a couple minutes. He felt someone nudge his arm, causing his head to fall out of his hands and have him wake up. He looked at the clock, around twenty minutes had passed.  _Why am I just being woken up now?_

 

"I'm sorry." He spoke, directing his attention to the teacher. Peter had never fallen asleep in class before, he was hoping he wouldn't get in too much trouble. The teacher sighed, "we're only reading. It's fine, it's not like you do this all the time." Peter sat up slightly, not expecting that answer. He nodded, pulling out a book from his bag. "But, don't let it happen again, Mr. Parker." The teacher spoke again, a faint "I won't" leaving Peters mouth.

 

Peter opened his book, but didn't read. He only thought about everything.  _She really caused me to stay up all night, did she stay up all night? Or was everything fine for her? Why is Felicia making this so confusing? Or am I just foolish and making this confusing for myself. SHE left. SHE said SHE would tell me when SHE was ready. I've turned this into "Felicia, I want you. Be with me now.". That is not what I wanted. I didn't want her feeling uncomfortable and forced, and that's exactly what I did. Did I?_

 

\---

 

As Felicia jumped out the window and headed down the fire escape, she contemplated turning back and staying with him. However, she kept walking. Not turning back, she headed home. She stared at her phone, waiting for it to light up with Peter's contact name.  _Come on. A text at least, let me know you know I'm gone._  

 

Her phone lit up the next minute later, Felicia filling up with excitement.  _Why am I excited about a text from someone I just left alone?_ She looked at her phone, not seeing the name she wanted. However, Liz's.  _Shit, I didn't tell her I left._

 

**"fee, where'd you go?"**

 

She sighed, having to answer Liz.  **"im sorry, i forgot to tell you. i snuck out of the bathroom window."** _Please don't ask where I went. And what I was doing._

 

**"oh. where to? im curious"**

 

 _Well, lie to her and say I went home sick? No she would never believe that. I have to tell her I guess._   **"to peters..."**

 

**"i see, what'd you two do???"**

 

 _THREE QUESTION MARKS? I really hate how curious she gets sometimes._   **"do i have to say? cause im pretty sure you can already guess what we did."**

 

**"please tell me you two used a condom, i wouldn't want you getting pregnant your senior year."**

 

"Liz, I swear to God. I will slap you." Felicia stifled out a chuckle.  **"YES WE USED A CONDOM. JESUS CHRIST** **."**  

 

**"better have, i don't want to start being called auntie liz until im at least 30."**

 

Felicia sighed,  _it's not like I don't want kids. I just don't want them for a while. A long while._ **"don't worry liz. kids aren't happening any time soon."**

 

**"good. you still at peters?"**

 

 _Shit, why do I feel like crying now? Do I really have to tell her I left Peter's too?_ Felicia got to her bedroom window, sneaking into it and sitting on her bed.  **"can i call you?"** A lump formed in Felicia's throat as she waited for Liz to either reply or her to call. She got the latter. Her screen lit up with Liz's contact name. The lump grew larger, tears welling up in her eyes as she answered.

 

"Hey, why'd you want me to call?" Felicia immediately let the waterworks flow. The first tear falling from her left eye. "Liz, what do I do?" She choked out, her heart aching through each of her words. "What do you mean, Fee? What's wrong?" Liz said, her voice soothing and calm. That was something Felicia needed. "I want him so badly, but I can't have him." 

 

Felicia sobbed silently, forcing herself to be quiet so her parents didn't hear her. "You're with Peter right now though." Liz stated, causing Felicia's lip to quiver as she tried her hardest not to make any noise. "I left..." She let out, waiting for Liz to answer. There was silence, too long of a silence. Felicia wiped her tears, even though new ones streamed down her face.

 

"Why would you leave if you know you want him?" Liz finally replied, letting out a sigh as she questioned Felicia. "Liz, I told you why I can't have him. That's why I left, I couldn't stay cause I felt like if I stayed then somehow my dad would find out." Felicia hiccuped, putting her hand over her mouth after she spoke. Muffling her sobs, Liz responds, "Fee, I know you want to keep your father happy. But this is killing you, emotionally hurting you. Fuck what your dad thinks, he shouldn't be the one to decide who you end up with."

 

Felicia went to uncover her mouth, wanting to spew every last reason she thought of that was worthy of explaining why she couldn't be with Peter.  _I sound like I don't want to be with him. Maybe Liz is right, I need to stop letting my dad stop me from being with Peter. It's hurting me._ As she uncovered her mouth, she heard someone in the hallway. "Liz, I gotta go. Someone's in the hall. Thanks." Felicia quickly hung up and turned her phone off.

 

Wiping her tears away, she listened carefully. She heard a knock at her door, followed by the sound of her fathers voice. "Felicia? You home?"  _Shit, he can't know I was crying my eyes out._ "Y-yeah, dad. I'm back. There's still school tomorrow, I wasn't sleeping over." She said, trying her hardest to not sound like she was sobbing. "Alright, sweetheart. Get some sleep." Felicia laid down, covering herself in her blanket.

 

"Oh, and don't forget about tomorrow night." Walter said before walking away.  _Tomorrow night? What the hell is happening tomorrow night?_ It then clicked in Felicia's head, her letting out a mix of a sigh and a slight sob.  _A date. I've been too busy thinking about Peter that I've forgotten the planned date I don't even want to go to. Great, just fucking great._

 

Felicia faced the wall, staring at it. Letting her eyes grow heavy and eventually close. As she fell asleep, she didn't dream. Not like she didn't enjoy that, it was a nice change seeing every dream she had was about Peter.

 

Waking up the next morning, Felicia felt drowsy. The amount she cried caused her to feel the sleepiest she's ever felt. She got up, got ready like usual and was picked up by Liz. Her normal routine, for what she wanted to be a normal day.

 

"Michelle, you didn't do the homework? I thought you were given the answers." Betty said, the four girls walking down the hall to Liz's locker. "Even if Michelle got the answers, she wouldn't do them anyways. She thinks there's better things to do, like anything that's not work." Liz said, grabbing books out of her bag once they got to her locker. Betty and Mj laughed, which caused Felicia to force out a laugh.

 

 _God, nothing seems funny to me anymore. I am so drained._ "Alright well, who aced the last chem test? I did, so shut it." Mj joked, Liz rolling her eyes and closing her locker. "Alright well, we all have to part ways. Class starts soon. See you in chem, Fee." Liz said, looking to Felicia. Felicia didn't hear her at first, looking off into the distance. Watching someone speed past down the hall.  _Was that Peter?_

 

"Fee?" Liz said again, gaining Felicia's attention. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, see you." She said, walking past the group and down the opposite hall. Not paying attention to where she was headed, she bumped into someone.  _Please say this is Peter._ She looked up.  _Dammit._ "Hey, Felicia. Watch where you're going." The person said, Felicia sighing. "Yeah. I will next time, Harry." 

 

Wanting to keep walking as she was not in the mood for chatting, Harry stopped Felicia with a question. "So, tonight?" He sounded unenthusiastic, gloomy. He never wanted to do this. This was his best friend's ex he was being forced to be with, he hated every minute of this. "Yeah, maybe one of us can fake being sick so we don't have to do this." Felicia suggested, staring at the clock.

 

"You know we couldn't pull it off even if we tried. Our dad's are fool-proof." Harry said, causing Felicia to sigh again.  _He's right, nothing would get past Walter Hardy and Norman Osborn._ "Well, I gotta get to class. Don't wanna be late." Felicia said, looking back to Harry. "Yeah, same here. See you later, Felicia." He said, walking past her. She waved and continued walking her way to class.

 

Felicia got to class and sat at her desk, sat through her lessons. When she got to chemistry, she didn't look back at Peter. But, she knew he was looking at her. Thanks to Liz.

 

**"he's really staring at you"**

**"felicia, he's still looking"**

**"HOW DOES HE HAVE ONE OF THE HIGHEST GRADES IN THIS CLASS? HE ISN'T EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!!"**

**"this boy must really love you"**

 

She read the last update and shut her phone off completely.  _I know how much he loves me, but I don't want to think of him right now. I need to focus and then I can worry about what I'm doing._ She sat back a bit in her chair, trying to make herself comfortable.  _I wonder what he's doing later, might have to ditch Harry when I get to the date. No, Felicia stop thinking about him._

 

The bell rang, everyone getting up and getting ready to leave. As Felicia stood up, she caught a glimpse of Peter. Him still looking at her.  _Too late, I'm thinking about him. He looks really tired. Shit, did I do something? Let me ask._ Just as Felicia started to walk over, Peter fled the classroom. "Or not..." She whispered to herself, gulping down what was the start of another lump in her throat.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honestly just needed an update

Peter sat in his room. He had avoided Felicia, because he thought she was avoiding him. He sent no texts, didn't call.

 

He made himself invisible to her. 

 

“Peter? You okay?” He heard from outside his room.  _ Not now, May.  _

 

“Yeah, I'm totally fine.” He responded, lying. He was far from fine. He wasn't up for explaining, but there was no hiding from it now.

 

May walked into his room. “May, I said I’m fine!” Peter exclaimed, watching her sit down on his bed. “You’re not, and I want to know why. Peter, you didn't sleep last night.”

 

He sighed, turning away. “I don't care, okay? I didn't sleep, big deal. I’m not up for talking about it.” The pain he felt was evident, May could pick it out from the way he spoke.

 

“Peter Benjamin Parker.”  _ Oh no, I'm in trouble now.  _ “You can talk to me. I’m not some stranger, you can trust me with this.” May spoke softly, not wanting to upset her nephew. She wanted him to feel comfortable speaking to her, not drive him away completely.

 

Peter hung his head low, staring at his hands in his lap.  _ Here it goes, I guess.  _ “May...I still love Felicia…” After he spoke, there was silence. He was expecting a reaction out of that, but May only said, “is there more?” 

 

“I want her back, but she can't. And, I don't know why she can’t. I don't know if she wants me back or not. She's confusing me.” He explained, not trying to get into too much detail. “One day, she’s wanting to hang out and be close to me. The next, she’s pretending I don't exist. But then she goes back to wanting me and… it’s just this endless cycle of wondering if she actually wants me.”

 

May outstretched her arm, placing her hand on his knee and giving it a comforting squeeze. “Has she said anything to give you a hint?” She asked, Peter nodding and then shaking his head. “I don't know, that's why I keep asking myself if she’s really worth it.”

 

“Have you ever asked her?” She asked, Peter nodding. “But, she just avoids the questions. All the ‘I’ve been thinking's’ and ‘when will you be ready’s’. Like, her mind is set on wanting to say no, but doesn't know how to say it. And, if I keep asking, I’m just going to end up pressuring her into answering. May, I don't want to pressure her into anything.” 

 

May looked at her nephew, seeing the tears in his eyes start to form as he asks, “what do I do?”. The pain in his heart surfacing through his voice. She could tell he was hurt by this.

 

“Peter, do you remember that roundabout you found?” She asked, he nodded.  _ What does that have to do with anything? _ “Take her there tomorrow. I’ll help you set up everything, I’ll make the food.” 

 

Peter looked up from his lap.  _ She’s onto something. _ “Like, a date?” He asked, making sure his aunt’s idea was what he was thinking of. “Yes, like a date.” She replied. 

 

He started to smile a tad, he nodded. “Alright. Thanks, May.” She smiled in return, standing up and starting to walk out of her nephews room. “Oh, why don't you invite Harry and Ned over?” She suggested.

 

Peter sighed, “Harry’s doing something with his dad. I’ll try Ned though, see if he’s not with Betty.” May nodded and walked out of his room, Peter immediately picking up his phone and dialing Felicia’s number. He didn't hesitate, nothing compelled him to stop and think. He just acted on instinct. He  _ had  _ to call her.

 

He waited for her to pick up, and when she did, he began to speak. “Hey, Felicia. I'm sorry if I was avoiding you, I just…you should have space. I don't want to force anything on you and...I’m sorry.” There was a pause, and then Felicia spoke rather quickly. “No, it’s fine. Don't apologize. It was stupid of me to leave yesterday. It’s my fault. Now, I’m kind of in a rush. Why’d you call?”

 

Peter cleared his throat, now he was hesitating.  _ Of all the times to get second thoughts, now?  _ “Um...I was wondering, maybe. If you weren't doing anything after school tomorrow...you’d maybe want to go on a date with me?” He said, waiting for her answer.

 

_ Maybe that was too soon. I did tell her I didn't want to force her and now I ask her on a date. Stupid, Parker. _

 

“Sure.”

 

_ Maybe, Parker isn't stupid after all. _

 

Peter silently jumped around his room in excitement, his once heavy heart was now lifting with joy. “Uh, cool.” he said to play it off. “Um, come to my place around six. Don't dress in anything formal.” 

 

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then. Bye, Peter.” She said before hanging up on him. Before he could get his own goodbye out. Not like he would've with all the internal squealing he was doing.

 

Peter was overjoyed, he wasn't being told “you know I can’t” or getting a long and vague explanation of why Felicia couldn't do anything. He got a straight answer for once. He started texting Ned, first asking him if he was free. 

 

**yeah, i’m free. what's up?**

 

Peter replied to Ned, just a simple “just come over here.” Something Ned found intimidating seeing as Peter would usually explain something to him head on.

 

**alright. we better watch star wars though. i’m not gonna come over and just chill, i need star wars.**

 

He laughed at Ned’s reply, telling him there would be Star Wars. Around thirty minutes later, Ned walked into Peter’s room. “So, what is it?” He said, standing. And also waiting for Peter to put the movie on.

 

“I have a date tomorrow.” Peter said, a smile on his face. Ned’s eyes widened, walking over to his friend and patting him on the back. “Nice, with who?”

 

“Felicia. Ned, she said yes to me. Ever since that night of Liz’s party, she’s been confusing. But this time…” Peter inhaled slightly. “This time she isn't confusing me. Isn't making me guess what her words mean.” 

 

Ned sat down, looking confused. “What do you mean? Why do you have to guess about her words?” He asked, looking at Peter. 

 

“Well, there are times where she’ll say something but then immediately turn it down. And I have no clue which she means.” Peter said, finally moving to put the movie on. Ned nodded. 

 

“Well, at least she’s giving straight answers.” He said, before changing the subject. “So, just us two? What was Harry doing again?” 

 

Peter sat back down on his bed, taking the remote and pressing play. “He said he had stuff with his dad.” He responded, Ned staying silent. Only Ned knew what was going on, he was keeping something from Peter.

 

\--

 

“Sure.” Felicia said before hanging up, she then ran up to catch Harry. “I told you to wait.”

 

Harry chuckled, even though they both hated what their parents were doing, they were good friends. “Well, I didn't want to make my presence known. You know I'm friends with him, he would pick my voice out in a heartbeat.”

 

Felicia rolled her eyes, “you’re right. You know, if he knew about this...what our parents are doing...he’d breakdown.” She said, walking normally beside him. “Yeah, I know...why’d he call?” Harry asked.

 

“He wants to take me out on a date tomorrow.” She said, she couldn't help but smile. She was happy Peter asked her, she was happy he still wanted to be around her after her leaving.

 

“A real, non-forced date? One could dream.” Harry joked, he knew Felicia wanted this date with Peter. He thought she deserved it. “I could set you up Liz, you know that? We could go on a double, our parents would think its you and I. Peter and Liz. But, it’s not that.” Felicia said, she meant it as a joke but was starting to like the idea herself.

 

“Next time. If you can get Peter and Liz to do it, then I'm all for it.” He answered, Felicia keeping that in the back of her mind.

 

“Does he know?” She then asked, looking forward. Them immediately speaking again. “Nevermind, he asked me out. Of course he doesn’t know.” Harry looked over at her. “I know what you two did that night of Liz’s party…”

 

Felicia froze, stopping in her tracks.  _ What? How? Why does he know?  _ She stared at the ground, not knowing what to say. “Um...h-how? How do you know?” She finally pieced together. She lifted her head to look at Harry, who was in front of her slightly. 

 

“He told Ned and I.” He replied, Felicia nodding her head a bit.  _ Okay, this is fine. Totally fine.  _ “And then I told Ned about this…” He continued.  _ He did WHAT?  _

 

“Harry, you what?” Felicia looked at him, her mouth gaped a tad. Every possible question running through her mind. “Why would you? He tells Peter everything, why would you think that’s a good idea?” She started to spew out all of the questions in her head. 

 

Harry walked back in front of her. “Hey, it’s fine. He promised me he wouldn’t say anything. I can trust Ned. He won’t say anything.” He tried to tell her, to at least calm her down. But she kept panicking.  _ What if he blurts something out? What if Ned says something and Peter starts asking questions?  _

 

Felicia began to walk again, a bit faster than she had been before. Harry sighed and followed behind her. “Felicia, I’m sorry. I know how you don’t want anyone knowing about this--” She cut him off. “Harry. I told Betty, Liz and Michelle...But I told them because they don’t have a direct friendship with Peter. Yes, Betty is Ned’s girlfriend. But she would never tell Ned. Michelle is amazing at keeping secrets, and Liz is my best friend. She would most likely hate herself if she told him.”

 

Harry stood and listened to her practically yell at him. He felt guilty now, swallowing his guilt. “I get it, you’re upset. I’m really sorry, Felicia.” Felicia swallowed back the lump forming in her throat. “Can I go home?” She asked.

 

He sighed, “yeah. I can walk you home.” Felicia nodded, continuing to walk in front of Harry. She didn’t know how to feel. She was anxious, scared Peter would find out she had been lying to him. She didn’t want to hurt him, but the longer she kept this a secret the more it will hurt him when he inevitably finds out.

 

Entering her house, she didn’t say goodbye to Harry. Not even a thank you for walking her home. She made her way to her room, only to be stopped by her father.

 

“Back so soon? Was it fun?” He asked her.  _ Not up for this now, dad.  _ She nodded, “yeah. It was fun. Like all of them.” She was lying. She hated these dates. She hated being forced into this. 

 

Her father nodded, “alright. That’s good. Did Harry have fun?”

 

Felicia sighed, going into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “Yeah, he had a blast. What did you do while I was out?” She asked, now sipping her water. “Oh, you know. The usual business with Norman.”

 

Felicia tilted her head up to acknowledge his answer while she chugged her water. “Slow down there, kiddo. You’re gonna choke on the water if you chug it any faster.” He spoke again, chuckling slightly.

 

Felicia nodded in response and then headed to her room, not wanting to spark another conversation with her dad.

 

Getting into her room, she laid on her bed. Closing her eyes, she started to fall asleep. She hoped everything she had learned that day was fake. Just some dream. But when she woke up the next morning, she realized it wasn’t.

  
  



End file.
